Hurry home to you.

Jul. 15th, 2025 09:15 pm
hannah: (Travel - fooish_icons)
[personal profile] hannah
I went across town to gather the last of my pay this morning; I'd gotten a text a couple hours earlier telling me that the main receptionist was doing fine and didn't need additional support, so all I had left to do was get paid. I ended up deciding to take that vacation opportunity, with plans to come back fairly early Friday to make the evening showtime.

Worth noting is packing's not nearly the stressor it used to be. Especially not for just a couple of days. Not even music for the trip or what to bring in my backpack. There's no getting around the nervousness that comes from waiting for a train - especially with the downpour earlier this week, which tends to mess with schedules - or trying to fall asleep the night before. But there's a predictability to that, which makes accepting it easier.

I'm back to save the universe!

Jul. 14th, 2025 09:35 am
newredshoes: Domo-kun doing victory arms! (domo-kun | victory arms!)
[personal profile] newredshoes
I AM 41.

I AM EMPLOYED.

I HAVE A NEW BIKE.

For real!!

So much has happened!! Things are very good right now! Kpop Demon Hunters holds up well the second time you watch it! Gingko defended me/picked a fight with three asshole dogs behind a fence and is very proud of herself and her battle scars! I am publishing a story either this week or early next week that will make absolutely everybody mad, so I need to figure out how to protect myself on social media! I was finally able to BUY NEW BRAS and I hope they fit???

But yeah... yeah! Birthday last week was really excellent! I have a full-time job now, and it started last week! I have been sleeping so much since that started, just because I think I've been holding a decade's worth of stress about where my next paycheck is coming from and now I just... get to stay. (It is journalism and it is public media, so no, the guarantees are not 100%, but it's an amazing group of people who absolutely adore me and I'm on the softball team and I tested out my biking commute yesterday and it is less than half the time it takes on public transit! Imagine getting more than 15 years of workplace trauma healed with one gig that appreciates you and fights for you!)

I'm just very excited about things now. I'm watching a lot of decent/fun TV (mostly cdramas; League of Noblemen, A Dream Within a Dream, The First Night with the Duke, The Blood of Youth). I finally deep-cleaned and organized my kitchen so that I'm able to cook again, which I did this weekend, hurrah! My DnD party is confronting our Final Boss, and my beautiful dumbass tiefling monk took down the first of the three dragons we'll be fighting. Summer in Chicago is very, very good! I am eager af to make art and write fiction and play music again! Do all these exclamation points sound deranged? I'm just. Very happy right now, and I will ride it out as far as I can! ✶

(no subject)

Jul. 12th, 2025 11:29 am
skygiants: the aunts from Pushing Daisies reading and sipping wine on a couch (wine and books)
[personal profile] skygiants
lest you think that having returned The Pushcart War to its rightful owner I went away with my bookshelves lighter! I did NOT, as she pushed 84, Charing Cross Road into my hands at the airport as I was leaving again with strict instructions to read it ASAP.

This is another one that's been on my list for years -- specifically, since I read Between Silk and Cyanide, as cryptography wunderkind Leo Marks chronicling the desperate heroism and impossible failures of the SOE is of course the son of the owner of Marks & Co., the bookstore featuring in 84, Charing Cross Road, because the whole of England contains approximately fifteen people tops.

84, Charing Cross Road collects the correspondence between jobbing writer Helene Hanff -- who started ordering various idiosyncratic books at Marks & Co. in 1949 -- and the various bookstore employees, primarily but not exclusively chief buyer Frank Doel. Not only does Hanff has strong and funny opinions about the books she wants to read and the editions she's being sent, she also spends much of the late forties and early fifties expressing her appreciation by sending parcels of rationed items to the store employees. A friendship develops, and the store employees enthusiastically invite Hanff to visit them in England, but there always seems to be something that comes up to prevent it. Hanff gets and loses jobs, and some of the staff move on. Rationing ends, and Hanff doesn't send so many parcels, but keeps buying books. Twenty years go by like this.

Since 84, Charing Cross Road was a bestseller in 1970 and subsequently multiply adapted to stage and screen, and Between Silk and Cyanide did not receive publication permission until 1998, I think most people familiar with these two books have read them in the reverse order that I did. I think it did make sort of a difference to feel the shadow of Between Silk and Cyanide hanging over this charming correspondence -- not for the worse, as an experience, just certain elements emphasized. Something about the strength and fragility of a letter or a telegram as a thread to connect people, and how much of a story it does and doesn't tell.

As a sidenote, in looking up specific publication dates I have also learned by way of Wikipedia that there is apparently a Chinese romcom about two people who both independently read 84, Charing Cross Road, decide that the book has ruined their lives for reasons that are obscure to me in the Wikipedia summary, write angry letters to the address 84 Charing Cross Road, and then get matchmade by the man who lives there now. Extremely funny and I kind of do want to watch it.

(no subject)

Jul. 10th, 2025 11:33 pm
skygiants: the aunts from Pushing Daisies reading and sipping wine on a couch (wine and books)
[personal profile] skygiants
I mentioned that I did in fact read a couple of good books in my late-June travels to counterbalance the bad ones. One of them was The Pushcart War, which I conveniently discovered in my backpack right as I was heading out to stay with the friend who'd loaned it to me a year ago.

I somehow have spent most of my life under the impression that I had already read The Pushcart War, until the plot was actually described to me, at which point it became clear that I'd either read some other Pushcart or some other War but these actual valiant war heroes were actually brand new to me.

The book is science fiction, of a sort, originally published in 1964 and set in 1976 -- Wikipedia tells me that every reprint has moved the date forward to make sure it stays in the future, which I think is very charming -- and purporting to be a work of history for young readers explaining the conflict between Large Truck Corporations and Pugnacious Pushcart Peddlers over the course of one New York City summer. It's a punchy, defiant little book about corporate interest, collective action, and civil disobedience; there's one chapter in particular in which the leaders of the truck companies meet to discuss their master plan of getting everything but trucks off the streets of New York entirely where the metaphor is Quite Dark and Usefully Unsubtle. Also contains charming illustrations! A good read at any time and I'm glad to have finally experienced it.

(no subject)

Jul. 9th, 2025 07:20 pm
skygiants: Enjolras from Les Mis shouting revolution-tastically (la resistance lives on)
[personal profile] skygiants
When [personal profile] kate_nepveu started doing a real-time readalong for Steven Brust & Emma Bull's epistolary novel Freedom and Necessity in 2023, I read just enough of Kate's posts to realize that this was a book that I probably wanted to read for myself and then stopped clicking on the cut-text links. Now, several years later, I have finally done so!

Freedom and Necessity kicks off in 1849, with British gentleman James Cobham politely writing to his favorite cousin Richard to explain he has just learned that everybody thinks he is dead, he does not remember the last two months or indeed anything since the last party the two of them attended together, he is pretending to be a groom at the stables that found him, and would Richard mind telling him whether he thinks he ought to go on pretending to be dead and doing a little light investigation on his behalf into wtf is going on?

We soon learn that a.) James has been involved in something mysterious and political; b.) Richard thinks that James ought to be more worried about something differently mysterious and supernatural; c.) both Richard and James have a lot of extremely verbose opinions about the exciting new topic of Hegelian logic; and d.) James and Richard are both in respective Its Complicateds with two more cousins, Susan and Kitty, and at this point Susan and Kitty kick in with a correspondence of their own as Susan decides to exorcise her grief about the [fake] death of the cousin she Definitely Was Not In Love With by investigating why James kept disappearing for months at a time before he died.

By a few chapters in, I was describing it to [personal profile] genarti as 'Sorcery and Cecelia if you really muscled it up with nineteenth century radical philosophy' and having a wonderful time.

Then I got a few more chapters in and learned more about WTF indeed was up with James and texted Kate like 'WAIT IS THIS A LYMONDALIKE?' to which she responded 'I thought it was obvious!' And I was still having a wonderful time, and continued doing so all through, but could not stop myself from bursting into laughter every time the narrative lovingly described James' pale and delicate-looking yet surprisingly athletic figure or his venomous light voice etc. etc. mid-book spoilers )

Anyway, if you've read a Lymond, you know that there's often One Worthy Man in a Lymond book who is genuinely wise and can penetrate Lymond's self-loathing to gently explain to him that he should use his many poisoned gifts for the better. Freedom and Necessity dares to ask the question: what if that man? were Dreamy Friedrich Engels. Which is, frankly, an amazing choice.

Now even as I write this, I know that [personal profile] genarti is glaring at me for the fact that I am allowing Francis Crawford of Lymond to take over this booklog just as the spectre of Francis Crawford of Lymond takes over any book in which he appears -- and I do think that James takes over the book a bit more from Richard and Kitty than I would strictly like (I love Kitty and her cheerful opium visions and her endless run-on sentences as she staunchly holds down the home front). But to give Brust and Bull their credit, Susan staunchly holds her own as co-protagonist in agency, page space and character development despite the fact that James is pulling all the book's actual plot (revolutionary politics chaotically colliding with Gothic occult family drama) around after him like a dramatic black cloak.

And what about the radical politics, anyway? Brust and Bull have absolutely done their reading and research, and I very much enjoy and appreciate the point of view that they're writing from. I do think it's quite funny when Engels is like "James, your first duty is to your class," and James is like "well, I am a British aristocrat, so that's depressing," and Engels is like "you don't have to be! you can just decide to be of the proletariat! any day you can decide that! and then your first duty will be to the proletariat!" which like .... not that you can't decide to be in solidarity with the working class ..... but this is sort of a telling stance in an epistolary novel that does not actually center a single working-class POV. How pleasant to keep writing exclusively about verbose and erudite members of the British gentry who have conveniently chosen to be of the proletariat! James does of course have working-class comrades, and he respects them very much, and is tremendously angsty about their off-page deaths. So it goes.

On the other hand, at this present moment, I honestly found it quite comforting to be reading a political adventure novel set in 1849, in the crashing reactionary aftermath to the various revolutions of 1848. One of the major political themes of the book is concerned with how to keep on going through the low point -- how to keep on working and believing for the better future in the long term, even while knowing that unfortunately it hasn't come yet and given the givens probably won't for some time. Acknowledging the low point and the long game is a challenging thing for fiction to do, and I appreciate it a lot when I see it. I'd like to see more of it.

Falling through the sky.

Jul. 9th, 2025 08:43 pm
hannah: (Stargate Atlantis - zaneetas)
[personal profile] hannah
I made a mistake regarding patient charts at work - nothing life-threatening or genuinely harmful, simply highly improper procedure that created twice the work for myself and the practice instead of half the work that would've come from doing it right the first time. When asked about it, I said I could provide reasons and excuses and it didn't matter, I'd done the thing and would fix it.

Besides the lessons of "write everything down at least twice" and "most mistakes can be fixed", the main takeaway is the person who spoke to me about it assumed I was Gen Z and was a little surprised when I said I was a Millennial. Partly that's the nature of the mistake, and I think another part's simply how I look. Granted, he's nearly twice my age so anyone more than 20 years his junior is "young" by that standard. Even so, I'm going to take the skin care compliment.

Swap our places.

Jul. 8th, 2025 10:56 pm
hannah: (Interns at Meredith's - gosh_darn_icons)
[personal profile] hannah
On account of half the members of my dad's book group not being able to make it in person tonight, the other half decided they might as well all meet remotely. No cake this month. Thankfully, I got the call about it before warming the butter. Now I've got some under-ripe tomatoes that were going to go into a streusel cake and some red and black raspberries that I was planning on using as a backup in case the tomatoes were too ripe for the cake. I'll probably cook with the tomatoes and either eat or freeze the berries.

The usual receptionist is recovered enough she might be in next week, though it's still too soon to say for sure, and even if she's in, whether she'll be up to her full or operating at a reduced capacity. It's certainly pointing to an end stage of the gig, which somehow has me enjoying it more. The inability or the difficulty to savor the indefinite, I suppose. Something along those lines.

Seventh of the Seventh.

Jul. 7th, 2025 09:54 pm
hannah: (Pruning shears - fooish_icons)
[personal profile] hannah
I'll be working this week, and possibly in the foreseeable future as well. It's hard to say - the woman I'm sitting in for needed emergency surgery to have her gallbladder removed, and organ removal always constitutes a careful recovery period.

I don't know how long I want to do this. Full-time, at least. It's the gnawing nighttime feeling and the looming mornings that are getting to me more than lost afternoons at the gym and visits to farmers' markets. Having less time to get my daily living activities finished so I can get writing done in the evening. I'm sure there's a knack to it I can pick up with practice. Breaking the weights out for some evening workouts is something I'm out of practice doing, but I'm getting back into easily enough. I can't drop and do twenty pushups straight, and I'm still capable of a few with good form, so I'll hitch myself back to that goal, among others. Something achievable.

Take my business.

Jul. 3rd, 2025 09:42 pm
hannah: (Claire Fisher - soph_posh)
[personal profile] hannah
Things which I don't get to say nearly enough: "Can you break a hundred?"

To make things as simple as possible, I got paid in cash earlier today, and to make things really simple, it was a mix of twenties and hundreds to use as few bills as possible. I'll freely and happily admit it cut down on the volume of currency being exchanged. It also struck me that while $100 is a standard unit of currency, it's an atypical one, which isn't a combination of traits I see much.

My plan was to break them into twenties if the bank was open for customers, or deposit them intact in an ATM kiosk if it wasn't. On the walk to the bank, I decided to buy a luxury imported British film magazine at Barnes & Noble, and in thinking about how to pay for it, I asked the clerk my question.

Then I said it was fine, and handed over $21 to more easily make change for the $15.50 price tag. A much more ordinary type of payment. I took the hundreds to the bank and deposited them at the ATM, as I'd planned.

And for a moment there, just a brief moment, I had a glorious glimpse into another life where I always asked that question.
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